Current mood:	chipper
Entry tags:	marco/tuomas

Fic: Midwinter nights
Title: Midwinter nights
Rating: R (rated R for retarded!)
Pairing: Marco/Tuomas (Nightwish, Tarot)
Disclaimer: I don't own them... they own themselves and I am certainly not making any money with this! The only thing I am making is myself happy with the lack of stuff on this loooooooovely lovely pairing!
Notes: Eeh wanted to make it sad but couldn't. Because of the climate change our winters are shitty! ToT So I wanted to write wintery fic and titles are pretty much always Tarot songs. BECAUSE THEY FUCKING RULE MY WORLD! XD And COMMENTS please! There aren't many comments on this journal but they are perfectly accepted... encouraged actually. Oh yes and all speech is still in Finnish but I tried to help it a little by writing it in English in the actual story... make them think about it or that kind of things. But feel free to ask if you dont understand something.



Midwinter Nights

A bitter cold wind blew over the frozen lake. It threw the light snow on top of the ice up and went into one’s bones. The two men making their way across the lake didn’t seem all that bothered. One had snow stuck on his beard and the other was hiding under his hat.
“Onko se ny sun mielestä hyvä idea?” The older one asked, sounding maybe slightly concerned for his younger companion’s idea to start dating a female musician. The dark haired man eyed his blonde companion and smiled a little.
“Pitäiskö mun itkee Tarjan perään koko ajan, vai?” The keyboardist asked with a sarcastic tone. He was hardly going to cry after Tarja when he never had liked her quite that way.
“Ethän sä sen perään ole missään vaiheessa itkeny.” Marco raised his eyebrow a little.
“No, joo, mutta paremmalta se lehdistön mielestä kuulostaa kun se että mä itkisin jonkun äijän perään.” Tuomas huffed and dug himself deeper inside his long black coat, even though the idea of coming out as the first openly gay Finnish heavy rocker was fairly amusing and so was dragging Marco into it. No one would believe he was one anyway. They reached the small island and scrambled over the rocks. Neither one said anything until they were finally inside the cabin and in private.
“Jonkun äijän?” Marco asked mock-hurt when he threw his coat away and brushed out snow from his hair. Tuomas just stuck his tongue out and went to put some wood into the old fireplace. Then he joined Marco on the small bed where he had sat down and made himself comfortable with a bottle of vodka. “Joskus kyllä tuntuu siltä että olisit hieman vainoharhanen. Ei kukaan luule sua homoks vaan sen takia että lehdissä ei kerrota kenen kans sä seurustelet.”
”Joo, ei varmaan, mutta kaikki jotka on tuntenu meijät kauemmin kuin kaks päivää olettaa niin ja tuskin sillä lehdistölläkään menis siinä kauaa jos ne viettäis vähän aikaa meijän kans kun ryypätään.” Tuomas took the bottle and watched Marco as he drank from it. It was nice to think Marco didn’t believe there was anything to be afraid of from the press, but it didn’t stop him from being afraid of it. He knew perfectly well how he acted when he was drunk, especially around Marco.
“Kuka ny mua homoks luulis?” He almost laughed. The older man was obviously right there. No one would ever believe Marco Hietala to be gay, not even if they found him kissing another guy. Tuomas himself was a whole another thing. He sighed a bit sadly.
“No varmaan kaikki jotka näkee miten sä halailet ja lohduttelet mua kun ollaan kännissä. Muistaakseni sua ei myöskään kauheesti haitannu suudella mua kun oltiin nuorempia.” Tuomas helpfully pointed out the little problems Marco had when it came to certain upset younger men and couldn’t help grinning at the memories. His friend looked somewhat embarrassed about it. Suppose there was reason to be if you were a sworn heterosexual but spent most of your time playing a lover for a closeted gay guy. And those kisses when they had been younger… Tuomas could swear it hadn’t just been playing around.
“No, sä olit söpö ja näytit tytöltä sillon.”
”Toi ny ei ollu kovin kauniisti sanottu.” The dark haired man tried to look cute and hurt but only managed to make Marco laugh at himself. “Kusipää.” He mumbled and drank some more. He had to get up to attend to the fire. It was warmer by the fireplace so he stayed there watching the flames. Remembering those kisses hadn’t helped to make him feel any better about anything. Falling in love with a straight guy had been the stupidest thing in his whole life and not getting over it was definitely the second stupidest thing. It was hard though because Marco didn’t let him get over it. Even now he didn’t; Tuomas soon felt warm breath on his cheek, then his hat was removed and he was pulled into the older man’s arms.
“Anteeks…” Marco whispered. It was no good, the older man was acting far too much like a lover to him when they were in private. It brought too much hope to Tuomas, it didn’t shatter his heart into pieces like outright disgust and rejection would have. He turned buried his face into Marco’s neck and stayed there for quite a while. The older man stroked his hair gently.
There was no excuse for them to act like that. They weren’t drunk but there was something final about this weekend. Tuomas feared Marco was never going to hold him like this again or then he feared he would finally be capable of getting over Marco when he really didn’t want to get over him. The idea of not loving him any more was heartbreaking but he knew in his head he should get over it.
A little later the cabin was somewhat warmer and the two were sitting by the table that barely stood on its own legs, drinking and remembering things they had done together. Tuomas laid his head down on his arms and sighed. He was more talkative and cheerier when he was drunk compared to his normal quiet moody self, though with Marco he was always much more cheerful.
“Muistatko kun tavattiin ekan kerran?” They had been rather drunk when they had met for the first time but Tuomas did remember how shaken he had been by how attractive the blond man had been even then. He was funny and easy to get along with - and so awfully handsome, like a Viking god from old Nordic tales.
“Joo... sä näytit nuijalta lyhyen tukan kans.” Marco laughed and Tuomas couldn’t help a small laugh escaping his lips, too. It was really quite true, what Marco said, he had looked like a dimwit with that short hair.
“Niinpä taisin...” They were both quiet for a while, thinking about something. Then Tuomas couldn’t help asking what the older man thought of him when he had longer hair. “Entäs sitten kun mä rupesin kasvattaan pitkää tukkaa?”
“Joo, sä olit söpö kuin pieni kukka.” Marco said with a cute voice and grinned stupidly before they both started laughing. Tuomas might have been pretty but comparing him to a flower was really retarded. Suppose Marco did find him cute, though, since he often said it and he had acted like it, too.
“Vitun idiootti...” Tuomas said almost affectionately between his giggles. Though his laughing was suddenly cut off when Marco started to sing. He still sang beautifully despite being a little drunk. He had leaned closer to the younger man over the table and was staring straight into his eyes.
“The first day of love never comes back...”
“Älä viitti laulaa sitä...” Tuomas looked down knowing full well what he had been thinking about when he wrote those lyrics and it wasn’t going to make this any easier if Marco started singing love songs to him.
“No haluutko sitten kuulla jotain muuta?”
“Mieluummin en... jos rupeet laulaan mulle jotain rakkauslauluja niin tästä ei tuu yhtään mitään.” Marco seemed to have something on his mind though, despite Tuomas’ request for him not to sing anything.
“I called and I called just to make things right...” Tuomas started to laugh and reached to smack the older man to make him go quiet.
“Nyt turpa kiinni. Mä luulin että sä vihasit tota biisiä muutenkin!”
“No mä ajattelinkin jos sä tykkäisit. Mut ei sitten jos ei mun laulut kelpaa.” The blonde Viking got up and threw himself down on the bed. “Ois varmaan pitäny alottaa oluella ennenku ruvettiin vodkaa litkiin.” He said eyeing the bottle. Tuomas scrambled over sitting at the foot of the bed. The bassist happily placed his feet into the younger man’s lap.
“Hyi... pistä ne jalkas muualle tai tuun istuun sun päälle.”
“Mikä uhkaus toi nyt oli?” Marco asked with a silly expression as if daring the younger man to do what he so horribly threatened to. Tuomas looked darkly at him then simply moved higher and sat himself on Marco’s middle section, then shifted lower so he was sitting directly on his groin. From there the keyboardist gave his cutest and most innocent smile.
“No, onko nyt hyvä?” He asked noticing the little bit disturbed expression on the older man’s face.
“Joo, oikein hyvä... toivoisin vaan että joku ottais meistä kuvan näin ja pistäis lehteen, sitten voitas ihmetellä sitä oikein koko kansan kesken.” He hissed and tried to turn away when Tuomas rubbed himself against his groin in revenge for the wish to be photographed like this. “Lopeta...”
“Taidat oikein pitää tästä...”
“Huh... “ Was all the older man said before placing his hands on Tuomas’ hips to quite violently turn them over. The old bed creaked almost dangerously under them when the younger man was slammed down onto the bed. “Olepas ny kiltisti. En ole todellakaan juonu tarpeeks et antasin sun tehdä noin.” Tuomas couldn’t help smiling at little when the older man quickly took a long drink from the bottle. If he was straight and not interested in Tuomas, he certainly had a strange way of showing it. The younger man asked whether he would then be allowed to do the same after Marco had drank enough. The older man just grunted something and Tuomas giggled, knowing Marco would say it if the answer was no.
“Hei, lunta sataa...” Tuomas sat up on the bed when he noticed in the darkening evening fluffy snowflakes descending down from the sky. He got up quickly and pulled his shoes on then stepped outside. He could barely see over the lake even though the snow helped to light up the landscape quite well. There still was a small sliver of pink at the edge of the sky. He cast his face up and let the snowflakes melt on his face. The bassist came up behind him and offered the bottle of vodka to him. Tuomas looked at him and felt a little moved by the strange gentle expression in Marco’s eyes. He took the bottle from him slowly, unsure of what to think of the other man and took a small sip.
They both watched over the darkening lake. The snowflakes melted on their hair and clothes. Tuomas couldn’t help shivering a bit when the darkness surrounded them. He was about to take a warming drink when he felt arms around his waist and he was turned around rather gently. He didn’t have the time to say anything when Marco leaned over and pressed their lips together. The first thought in Tuomas’ head was quite a stupid one but then he concentrated on the kiss. The bottle slipped from his fingers and down to the snow as he wrapped his arms around Marco’s shoulders. He didn’t remember any of their kisses being like this; it was long, slow and a little bit awkward, as if Marco was kissing him for the first time. And even if it wasn’t exactly true as they had kissed each other several times before, it had never been quite like this.
“Mennään sisälle.” Marco spoke, inches from his lips and with a deep husky voice. Tuomas, who was quite used to being the leader, now let Marco pretty much do as he pleased. He was too afraid the moment would be gone if he even dared to speak up. He nodded and allowed the older man to lead him back inside and onto the small, rather cold bed - which wouldn’t be cold for very long, though.

The morning was cold and grey. Tuomas found himself alone and freezing in the bed. He tried to pull the covers better around his body but it didn’t help. The fire was gone and slowly he had to sit up. He had thought Marco would be gone but he found the older man sitting by the table watching him. He didn’t look a bit happy but not really angry either. He seemed to be just sad.
“Huomenta...” Tuomas said a little awkwardly. They hadn’t been drunk enough last night for him to forget what had happened and Marco hadn’t been drunk enough to have sex with him just because alcohol would have clouded his mind. There had to be something else and Tuomas was a little afraid to even think about that. Either he really was just that nice or then he really did...
“Meidän pitäs mennä takas.” Marco just said and got up. He threw the younger man’s clothes at him. Tuomas felt as miserable as ever and quickly got dressed even if the jeans were freezing. He was shivering and rubbing himself for some warmth when they stepped outside. He didn’t notice Marco was watching him.
They walked in silence, except for Tuomas’ chattering teeth, across the frozen lake. At the other shore the older man just walked to his car without saying anything. Tuomas didn’t want to let him go like that. Not sure of what he thought of this all, and what was going to happen after this. There was something he wanted to tell the older man, anyway.
“Marco...” He said and swallowed nervously. The blond man turned to him. He was lighting a cigarette. “Marco... toi...” He motioned somewhere towards the lake and the cabin referring to what they had done there. “Oli mun... eka... kerta...” He motioned around nervously for confessing something like that at his age. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t slept with women, though he had hardly enjoyed those. It was embarrassing enough for Tuomas so he didn’t stand around waiting but got into his car. Luckily it started up even after standing there in the cold all night. He did give a look to Marco who was still smoking and looking rather unaffected by all he had said. The younger man quickly drove away before his bassist could see him crying.
He had driven for almost 10 minutes when his phone beeped somewhere. He thought of not bothering with it first but then he figured it could be something important so he dug it out. He stared dumbfounded at the message from Marco. It read: “Jätä se vitun ämmä.” He lowered the phone and paid some required attention to the road in front of him. Why would Marco want him to leave the girl? His phone beeped again and he opened the second message from Marco. “Siis en kato kauheen hyvällä jos mun rakas seurustelee jonkun ämmän kanssa.” Tuomas had to stop the car because he was laughing and crying at the same time. He laid his head against the wheel and wondered how life was going to turn out as the secret lover of his bassist.
He didn’t hear the car that stopped behind his but he did hear the knock on his window. He quickly looked up to see Marco and couldn’t help the cute smile on his lips. The door was opened and he almost jumped to the older man’s arms.
“Mitä ihmettä sä itket?” Marco asked rubbing the moisture from his cheeks with his thumb. Tuomas shook his head and bit his lower lip not wanting to say anything, afraid he’d just burst into tears. It was one thing to be in love with someone for years knowing the other one didn’t love him back than hearing almost after ten years that the other one did want him, after all. He just didn’t know what to think of it at all. He was happy, confused and excited all at the same time and he really had never felt like this in his life so he had no idea how he should have behaved.
Their breath turned into steam as they just stood there watching each other with their arms around the other person. It was like they were getting ready to face the world like this, as a couple, a couple that would never be accepted. They were both wondering if it was all going to be worth it. Then Marco leaned over slowly to capture Tuomas’ cold lips and they kissed. Tuomas could feel the cold metal of the car frame on his back when he was pushed against it. Marco’s fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his head when he held his head and deepened the kiss. This time Tuomas kissed back, though still a little awkwardly and unsure of what Marco wanted from him. He was so warm against his front side but suddenly his shirt was lifted up and cold fingers were placed on his stomach. He drew his breath in sharply and their lips parted. Marco was smiling, obviously enjoying the position he had the younger musician in. It wasn’t like Tuomas would have wanted to escape anyway.
The hand under his shirt became a little warmer after awhile as it caressed his hips and stomach. It soon moved higher, making Tuomas sigh almost worriedly. He looked around but the forest road was dead silent, only the snow and trees were watching them. The older man stared at him and made him blush and look away. Marco’s blue eyes in the situation and with that look were quite impossible to look at. He was getting hard in his pants and just for something this simple!
His mouth was dry when he tried to speak but the older man paid no attention to his pleas. He complained it was too cold even if it really wasn’t. He was quite warm there with the bassist’s fingers on him. The other hand still sitting firmly around his waist moved a bit lower to squeeze his ass and press him firmer against the older man’s body. Tuomas buried his face into Marco’s long hair and clutched his upper arms. The whole situation in the middle of nowhere was quite unbelievable. Even the smell of the older man turned him on! It had never been like this with women, nothing like this with women. He felt his jeans being opened and the now warm hand slipping into his underwear. He breathed in and clutched the older man tighter.
“Tää nyt ei ole kauheen hyvä paikka pyörtyä, jos hengittäsit välillä.” Marco said in a slightly sarcastic tone and Tuomas realised he had been holding his breath for quite a while. The younger one let out a sigh and pushed his groin against the other one’s hand. He was already fully hard from the cold air and his bassist’s fingers on his erection; the toying around and playing didn’t help Tuomas to last much longer. He was almost embarrassed when he suddenly let out a deep moan and came all over Marco’s fingers.
“An... teeks...” The dark haired man choked and pulled from the Viking. He let Tuomas go this time and stepped back. He zipped up his pants quickly and looked around embarrassed. The silence around them was still overwhelming but it lulled the keyboardist into a strange safety. It was just the two of them there and nothing to be afraid of. Marco cleaned his hand in the snow and laughed when he looked at his partner.
“Ei oo mitään syytä pyydellä anteeks.” He reassured the younger man and lit another cigarette. Tuomas watched him smoke and he watched Tuomas fiddle with his coat sleeves. They did that without a word until he had finished smoking and flung the cigarette away.
“Mä rakastan sua...” Tuomas spoke quickly and a little shyly when Marco was about to go back to his car without saying anything again. He shouldn’t really have said that but at least the older man turned and gave him a small smile.
“Kyllä mä olen sen tienny jo kauan.” And then he left. Tuomas watched after him for a while and then just sighed. Everything was going to be fine. The older man was not mad at him, he was going to take care of him and they were going to become proper lovers. He just couldn't wait to tell Emppu!

LOPPU (The end)